shadow recognitions: seeing the dark side of self


TRIGGER WARNING
 

"Everyone carries a Shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individuals conscious life, the blacker & denser it is.
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

- Carl Jung

The shadow includes our humanly primitive & negative emotions & impulses like
selfishness, lust for power & sex, greed, laziness, envy & anger.
Our shadows are often obscured from consciousness,
yet are prevalent & controlling in every aspect of our lives.

We can hardly bear to look. The shadow may carry the best of the life we have not lived.
Go into the basement, the attic, the refuse bin.
Find gold there. Find an animal who has not been fed or watered. It is you!!
This neglected, exiled animal, hungry for attention, is a part of your self.”

- Bessel A. van der Kolk

This collection explores the Shadow, what Jung called the "dark side of our personality."
These visuals and words invite us to reflect on the parts of ourselves that we disregard, that we silence;
and notice how these parts of ourselves influence our decisions and lives.

xo

 
 
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The toxic narrative tape

My brain could be
a fiction writer,
a Pulitzer prize winner
for all the horror stories
it conceptualizes.

Telling me that I’m worthless,
a cause of others’ suffering.
That I’m incapable of love,
connection and power…

Playing loudly in the background
like a neighbor’s obnoxious music
Making my whole body shiver
in a pile of sludgy darkness

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The unfelt feels

Disregarded &
distracted from,
pushed aside
to get things done.

Whatever you're
unwilling to feel
becomes your
intolerance,
judgment,
resentment.

These unfelt feels
grow thicker inside
burdening you, forcing you
still to experience their ride.

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It loves when i cower

Speaking demeaning
fear in my ear,
making me
cower.

Products of systemic
oppression,
patriarchal repression,
hierarchical regressions.

crowding my mind
closing my chest,
brainwashing
until i rest.

sucking the air
out of my space.
telling me
"be small
be small
your voice
is a waste."

here i am
stroking its ego
politely...

as i cower
so frightly.

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Fetal in the corner

This loneliness would be easy
if i didn’t have to sit with this shadow.

Fetal position doesn’t protect me from it
nor does the sunspot in the corner…

Where do i need to go to find peace
from this part of me
that i don’t want to see?

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Suicide of the human race

How long will the killing go on
before we realize that
we're killing ourselves?

When will we see
that we carry enough power
in the energy of our hands,
without hand guns.

We're killing the "other"
in delusion,
forgetting we are One,
as we're shooting ourselves.


 

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Taken, Taking, Giving Away

the taker
degrades you,
penetrates you with coercion
masked as seduction.
preying on the vulnerable,
foaming & lusting
for some
control.

 

xxx

 

the one who has been taken
forgets value of self,
mind and body,
becomes someone else.
giving her spirit away
releasing her power to they
until...
she.
feels.
nothing.

 
 
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The Blamer

Always looking for a target to shoot
feeels so good to project,
this blaming ego
just trying to ease its own pain.

controlling you
accusing them
judging her
blaming him.

hiding
from
the sad
self.

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Chubby Shadow Saviors

Living to lay horizontally
scarfing down everything
of 0% nutrition
100% processed
that I can get my salty fingers on, 
flamin' hot cheetos &
"keeping up with the
kardashians."
growing chubbier
with numbness
melting deeper
into the mattress,
zoning out
of conscious.

 
 
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Keeps you in "your place"

The shadows
of patriarchies
hierarchies
internalized
insecurities.

Keeping you
in your place,
to take little
space.
to stay quiet,
stay subdued.

"Who are you
to be better,
bolder & wiser?"
It exclaims with
judgement,
jealousy disguised.

See,
it takes you
under its thorny wing,
 tries to keep you
there for its own
privilege,
like you're there
for its own
"power."

High All the Waking Time

Life can be sobering as fuck.
too scared to live it alone.
So I'm just high all the waking time,
waiting for the floating,
then the next free.

 Shadows of addiction
have me here
high all the waking time
exploding without it
in swings & diarrhea,
 nausea and night sweats...

they don't make it easy,
when they're all around me
says I'm not enough.
So I just want to be high all the waking time.

Take the pain away
from my body.
take me
away
from
me.

 
 
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Against You

"The 'others'
they're against you,"
it says.
Isolating you
on your high horse
or your low saddle,
"you're alone,"
it says.

"It's me & you
against the world,"
it says.
When essentially,
it's you against
the parts
of you
that you've learned
to reject.

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"I'm just tired"

Tired gyal
with a battle
inside

She can't connect
when she fights
alive

Inner dialogues
with her shadow
make her
curdle

Left with the
sleepy
loneliness
in herself

That is her
the daily
hurdle.